This was written after hearing hurtful gossip

Words have the power to break down or lift up
(Published in The Bay City Tribune June 1, 2011)

We have all been on the receiving end of hurtful comments and, whether intentional or not, we have all been the one to make a hurtful comment at some point.
The child’s saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” may be a good ideal to strive for, but in reality words can hurt much worse than a bump or bruise.
While signs of physical injuries will fade and be forgotten, hurtful words can leave wounds that are never completely healed.
By the same token, the words we can use can heal and comfort, lift up and encourage.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
When we think of the power of words we realize how important it is to ”think before we speak.”
Before we allow the words to come out of our mouths we should first ask ourselves if what we are going to say is going to be hurtful or helpful, if it is necessary, if it can be hurtful to someone else and how the words will be perceived by the person.
If we are unsure if something should be said we can put it to the test. Ask yourself, “If this was Jesus standing here before me, would I say this to Him?” If the answer is no, you probably should keep quiet.
Maybe we think as long as we aren’t saying hurtful words directly to a person or in their presence it is ok. Not true.
Think of how many people you have known who have had their reputations hurt by gossip, how many relationships have been damaged and friendships lost to gossip. Think of how many people have had their feelings hurt.
Proverbs 11:9,13 says, “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape... A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”
But what if we don’t actually say the words? What if we just think the words?
I have learned that when something is on my mind, it is usually going to get said at some time or another. The more negative thoughts you have, the more negative attitude you will have. A negative attitude leads to negative actions.
We must start from the inside, seeing the good in others and letting that view be the one we focus on and share. We must look inside ourselves and see what is missing and what needs to be strengthened, not judge others with our own inadequacies.
Then we can make sure we are using the right words when we speak, the words that build up and strengthen, the words that show love and kindness. This is one way we can show the love of and for God through our words and actions.
Proverbs 23:15-16 says, “My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.”