Earning the title of father

My father is one of the most caring, loving men I know. He is and always has been a great father. 

Even though I am grown and have a family of my own, I know I can always count on him to be there for me — whether to give advice, lend moral support or help out with needed home repairs, he is there. 

He is the dad the Lord chose for me and blessed me with at birth.

With a high divorce rate over the last couple of decades, there are many men who are now taking on the role of stepfather as well as raising their biological children.  

My husband is one of those men. He already had three sons and when we got married that number doubled to six. 

Becoming a stepfather has many challenges that aren’t there with biological children. The automatic relationship that is there when children are born has to be grown and developed over time in a step family situation.

Sometimes the situation may seem impossible but it can be done. A stepfather that offers love, guidance and encouragement can become a vital part of the family. That is especially important when the biological father is absent from the children’s lives for whatever reason.

Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ biological father but he loved him and raised him as if he was. No one ever knew the difference because he treated him as his own son.

Fatherhood is more than just being responsible for conception. It is taking on a leadership role in raising children to know and love God, to have Christian morals and convictions and to make those children feel wanted and cherished.

My sons have been fortunate to have a stepfather who has taken on that role in their lives. When we got married he also willingly took on all of the baggage, pain, rejection, fear and challenges that came along with marrying a woman with children.

He didn’t have to do that. He could have just had the mind frame that they are my children, my problem. But he didn’t. Instead he embraced them. If they need guidance, he gives it; if they need support, he is there; if there is something they need or even just want, he does his best to make sure they have it.

Billy Graham once said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”

The same can be said, and even more so I think, for stepfathers. 

Malachi 4:6 says, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.”

He doesn’t differentiate between father and stepfather. I don’t think it matters how you “become” the father of a child, it matters how you “are” the father of that child. If you accept that child as a heritage and reward from the Lord as it says in Psalm 127:3 and treat that child as such, then you are a father.

Fathers are defined by how they love and how they treat the gifts given to them by God.

It is my husband that my sons honored on Father’s Day — an honor that he has more than earned.

When the Lord brought my husband into my life, my children and I were all blessed with a wonderful gift — the best husband I could ever hope for and a man that has taken on the role of father to my children. The Lord gives us more than we could ever dream possible, and I thank him each and every day.

Proverbs - Chapter 6:20-23 — “My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's teaching. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you. For these commands and this teaching are a lamp to light the way ahead of you. The correction of discipline is the way of life.”