With the Lord beside us, we are never alone

There are times in our lives where we feel completely overwhelmed and to the point of shutting down. We may have everyday life pressures plus other circumstances that add extra stress or takes us completely out of our comfort zone. Added all together, the burden on our shoulders gets so heavy we can’t move under the weight.
I found myself there recently. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and hide under the covers. Instead I picked up my Bible and retreated to my chair in the backyard. After some time in prayer, reading the Word and quiet reflection I realized something. I don’t have to carry the weight on my shoulders myself.
Matthew 11:28 says, “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Even when we feel most alone, we are not. Sometimes I wish there was someone right beside me telling what to do and how to do it. Yes, I have my family and they are always there for me, but there are some things we have to do for ourselves. Even then, though, we are not really alone. God is always there to help us through every trial, big or small.
Hebrews 13:6 says, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
You may think, “But I need someone right here, who I can see and talk to.” OK, so maybe you can’t see God in a physical, human form. You can see Him in everything around you though, if you just open you eyes and look. Maybe you aren’t going to have a back and forth conversation with Him as you would another person, but you can definitely talk to and hear back from Him.
There are so many ways the Lord has of speaking to us. The Bible is his living word and we can always turn to it for guidance.
Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”
I find that if I spend time talking to God in prayer, he will often lead me to a particular passage or verse in the Bible as His answer, or response.
Another way the Lord speaks to us is through other people. He may use the words of others to speak what we need to hear.
I had some things weighing heavily on my heart recently that I had been praying about. At church, the Pastor had us separate into groups and pray together.
The prayer of one of our group members spoke directly to my heart on the issues I had been praying about. I felt the weight being lifted from my shoulders and a peace settle over me.
God was speaking to me through this person. I have had the same happen through song lyrics or just a simple conversation.
What we have to remember is when we get to the point of feeling overwhelmed, we need to know that we are never alone. What better helper can we have beside us than our Father? His power and love is so awesome that with Him beside us nothing can ever defeat us.
Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Trials bring growth, strength where needed most

When new believers turn their life over to the Lord, many of them expect their lives to suddenly become charmed, magical almost. The thinking is that God is going to put an invisible bubble around you that keeps evil and hard times away.
Well, that isn’t the case. If everything in your life was perfect, if you had no trials, after a while you would think you no longer needed God. That He isn’t necessary. That thinking is so wrong.
I think that when you start becoming stronger in your walk with God it is almost like an alarm goes off that alerts Satan and sets him out to try his hardest to tempt you away from God. Suddenly things start going wrong, life gets hard, then you have a decision to make.
You know that image you see in movies or cartoons where the devil is on one shoulder and an angel on the other? We have times in our lives that are really like that.
We have to make the decision to take the road through our trials that will lead to our ultimate victory even though it may be a rough ride at times, or we turn away from God and go with whatever is easiest or “more fun.”
Some of the trials we have are to strengthen us in areas we most need work – for me that seems to be patience and obedience. Obviously I am a slow learner otherwise I would be the most patient person in the world by now. Children, jobs, relationships, family and every day life are all trials of patience.
Obedience is a hard one. Instead of listening and doing things God’s way I have a really bad habit of wanting to do them my way. I have become an expert at rationalizing why I should or shouldn’t do something.
My internal dialogue may go something like this, “That can’t be what He really wants, maybe what I am really supposed to do is this.” Just so you know, that doesn’t usually go so well for me. I look back and realize if I had listened in the first place, things would have turned out much differently.
In being obedient to the Lord we are to hear His word and do his will.
James 1:22 says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
In some cases that is easy. I have no intention or desire to ever commit murder, adultery or steal.
In some cases it is not so easy, such as when God commands you to do something you can’t see how, in your worldly mind, will be possible. It’s a good thing the world’s way isn’t God’s way. He can do things and make things happen in ways we can’t even begin to imagine.
What if we didn’t listen to God and decided to go our own way instead? That happens and will happen again. As a consequence we will go through hard times we wouldn’t have faced otherwise or miss out on a blessing that was planned for us. But all is not lost.
Because we have been given the gift of forgiveness we have the chance to confess our disobedience to the Lord and receive his mercy and complete forgiveness. Then we can make the right decision, the decision to do things God’s way.
Romans 11:30-31 says, “Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God’s mercy to you.”

God’s love can be felt in even the worst of times

As the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks against the United States approaches, communities across the country are planning ways to honor those who died on that day.
I think most of us can remember where we were or what we were doing when the first plane crashed into the Twin Towers.
I had just dropped my two older boys off at school and was watching TV with my youngest who hadn’t yet started school. I remember watching in disbelief as news stations showed footage of the first plane hitting and even more shock as the second hit. I held my four-year-old tightly as I watched the attacks continue to unfold before my eyes.
The death, destruction and terror was more than can be imagined, but something we will never forget.
In the midst of the horror, something else was demonstrated – something powerful and moving. Men and women immediately began to rush to the aid of others. Some of these were firefighters, EMTs and police officers, others were citizens on the street.
Prejudices disappeared as true concern and love for others emerged. Race, economic status, religion were all melded into one, all were working for the same purpose.
God’s love just poured out of all involved.
For months after, many churches saw their attendance soar. People turned to God for help in their time of need or to thank Him for those who survived.
There have been other times when we have seen this happen, usually during disasters such as hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.
During these times, God’s power and love is so evident it is hard to imagine how so many people miss it.
But many people do. As soon as their “need” for God passes they go on with their lives as before, making God a backseat passenger instead of the driver in their lives. As long as things are going well, they are content. But as soon as they “crash” into another obstacle suddenly they want God to take control again.
Yes, we should always turn to God in our times of need.
Proverbs 18:10 says, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.”
But what about other times? What about when things are just sailing along smoothly and all is right with our world?
Those are the times when we should be turning to God with thanksgiving and on behalf of others. It is when we should be studying his word and building a relationship with Him.
How much easier is it to turn to someone you know and love for help than to a stranger? We should learn to be in constant communication with our Lord. Turning to Him for decisions in our lives should become so ingrained in us that going to him for even the smallest trials in our lives is the first option, not an act of desperation.
So let us not forget those who lost their lives in the Sept. 11 attacks, let us remember their families, let us remember those that risked their lives, and let us keep them in our prayers. Most of all remember to keep praying and keep growing in your faith.
God is good, He is always there. He reaches down and lifts us up out of our despair – every time.

Silence can be a reminder to listen for God’s voice

I usually have my column written early on Tuesday morning but today I am sitting here staring at an empty Word document as deadline approaches. I also have noticed that my entries on my blog have been scarce over the last few weeks.
My columns and blog entries always come from some word the Lord opens my ears to during the week, sometimes in church, sometimes from the Bible, or in something I read or hear or even from a song on the radio.
Pondering why I haven’t received that word this week, I have come upon a revelation. It isn’t that I haven’t received the word, it is that I haven’t heard the word.
There is a big difference between the two. The Lord is always speaking to us, we just have to be attentive to hear what He says.
Lately I have let worldly worries and cares disrupt the openness necessary to receive the word.
Sometimes we get so busy with the day-to-day responsibilities and activities, we forget to stay always in a prayerful mode that allows us continuous communication with our Father.
With the boys starting a new school this year and all of the usual preparations for a new year, a recent move that I am still unpacking from, work and everyday activities it is easy to get caught up in my life.
When we are turning to the Lord asking, “Father, help me with this,” I think He is sometimes saying, “I am trying if you would just be still and listen you would know I am there.”
If we just be still and listen, we will know when God speaks to us and we will hear his voice. He has many ways of speaking to us. We just have to keep our minds open so we don’t miss what He says.
When the Lord is within a person he is communicating constantly with that person’s heart, conscience, soul and spirit.
He is carrying on a two way conversation with us 24 hours a day.
John 10: 27-28 says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”
God never leaves us, but sometimes I think the silence is a way to get our attention back on Him and off of the cares of the world. I know it has gotten my attention this week.
it is time to give my cares and worries over to Him and my thoughts back where they belong.

Parents task is to teach children to be a light to others

Churches across the nation have been praying over the school students in their congregations and communities as new school years begin or are close to beginning.
They are asking for guidance for the students and the teachers in the coming year, that they may have minds open to learning and the ability to make good choices in the face of many temptations that are placed in front of them in schools and out in the world.
As our church prayed for our children one of the fathers of young children asked protection over them as they were “sent out into the darkness with wolves.” The first thing that went through my mind when I heard that was how literally children take things and that any little ones who hadn’t been to school before may think they are really being sent out into the dark with the wolves. I could see some tearful first days of school with that image in their heads.
Of course, we realize what he meant and it is a great metaphor. He followed it up with saying it is a parents job to teach their children to be a light in the darkness. That is so true.
We can’t just expect our children know how to be an example to others they are around, how to lead others to Christ, or even how to say no to wrong choices made by those around them  unless we teach them.
I remember when I was in high school and I would hear other students at award ceremonies, graduations and other events giving speeches that talked about God’s influence in their lives.
I wondered how they even thought to say what they did and would even feel slightly uncomfortable because I didn’t understand their relationship with Jesus but wanted to know how I could feel that way.
Sure I went to church and could recite bible verses and stories and knew Jesus as my savior but had never been taught how to have a relationship with Him.
Our job as parents is to raise our kids to have that relationship and to be comfortable talking about Him and sharing Him with others.
When anything comes up in their lives, big or small, they should know the first thing to do is pray.
On the first day of school my boys and I prayed together, when the air conditioner broke a few weeks ago my youngest son and I prayed together. I have learned that by praying with them, not just for them, they are learning to turn to prayer as well.
The first time I asked my youngest to take over a prayer he surprised me with how comfortable and confident he is in prayer.
When I hear the youth pray at church it brings joy to my heart to hear them demonstrate that relationship they have with our Father.
By teaching our children to have a real relationship with the Lord, we are teaching them not to be fearful of showing others that they are Christian even if that means the decisions they make aren’t always the most popular or most fun to those around them.
By being true to who they are they set and example to others – they are a light in the darkness. And maybe, if we raise enough of these lights, the darkness in this world will start to recede and the wolves will turn and run and the Lord’s light will shine brightly.

Beginning of school year can be scary for new students

A new school year may mean the end of summer but it also means the beginning of a new “social season” for many students.
The long, lazy days of summer become times to meet up with friends from past school years, head out to high school football games and enter back into the frenzied pace of school and extra curricular activities.
It can also be a scary time for students entering into a new class or school who haven’t had the chance to get acquainted with new classmates.
Usually by the time students enter junior high social groups or “cliques” have been formed. By high school those groups may be so tightly forged it is hard for someone new to be welcomed into the group.
Some new students naturally have an outgoing personality and have no trouble finding their way into a new group of friends. Others may be shy and wait for a welcome opening.
Being friendly and welcoming to those students should be a goal for those who already have a firmly established group of friends.
They should put themselves in the new students place and think of how they would want to be treated, of what would give them a good start to a new year and, in many cases, a new life.
If the rest of their group of friends is hesitant about welcoming a new face they should take the initiative and encourage the friends to be welcoming.
Romans 12:13 says, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
While that can mean many different things, used in its simplest form hospitality means a friendly and generous reception of guests, visitors or strangers.
It doesn’t take much to smile at someone and offer a kind word, but it can mean the world to someone who is in a sea of unfamiliar faces.
Kindness, gentleness and goodness are three of the fruits of the Spirit. All should be used when dealing with other people.
So if you see a new face at the beginning of the school year, or at any time during the year, make the effort to go up and introduce yourself. You may even make a new best friend. You will definitely make the beginning of a new school year much easier and brighter for that new student.
If you are the new student, you can’t go wron exhibiting those same three fruits of the Spirit ­­– kindness, gentleness and goodness.
Don’t let fear keep you from reaching out to new friends.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says,
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
He has many wonderful things in store for you, including good friends.

Good news

   The Lord has been helping me through the trials I have been facing one by one. We cleared a major one with some good news Wednesday.
   A spot was found in my breast in a routine mammogram a couple of weeks ago. Immediately upon hearing that fear fell over me. Then when the nurse left the room and I was waiting for the doctor I worked to clear my mind and turned the situation over to the Lord. In the quiet of the room I heard the words to the chorus of the song "Healer" by Hillsong.
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Then I knew everything was going to be ok. I went back for some more tests last Friday. When I got the results Wednesday everything was normal. No cancer. Thank you Jesus, you are amazing!

Perfection is an unattainable goal

Perfection is an unattainable goal. Unfortunately it is something some of us expect of ourselves, or even worse, others.
People in high profile professions often find that not only are they expected to perform to the higher than normal expectations that come with their job, but they are expected to perform perfectly, no mistakes, no errors in judgment, absolutely no blemishes.
Not only does that put the person at higher risk for heart attacks, strokes or other possibly fatal health conditions, it also sets them up for failure.
When it comes to expecting perfection in ourselves, what we have to remember is that we don’t have to be perfect and mistake-free to be worthy of God’s love. He knows we aren’t perfect, he doesn’t expect us to be. That is why he sent us Jesus.
If God can forgive us for our sins, our mistakes, we should be able to forgive ourselves. We need to learn from the mistake, put it behind us and move on.
Expecting perfection in other people is not only wrong, but depending on the way it is expressed, it can cause hurt, anger and frustration.
People who find it necessary to point out what they perceive as mistakes made by other people in a cruel or spiteful way are not only hurting their target but also are directing attention to just how imperfect they are themselves.
We are supposed to act in a Godly manner – with compassion, mercy, kindness and love.
Remember when the slogan “WWJD – What Would Jesus Do” was everywhere from T-shirts to bumper stickers? I think that needs to regain popularity.
It is something we should ask ourselves before every decision we make and every word we speak. If the answer is that no Jesus would not say or do that, than we need to stop and figure out how Jesus would handle the situation.
When we speak without thinking, call someone names, tell people how horrible we think they are, write angry letters full of name calling and curse words, scream at people over the phone or leave nasty, biting remarks on a Facebook page, we are definitely not doing what Jesus would do.
Instead, when a mistake or decision is made that we don’t agree with and simply don’t feel we should ignore, we should go to the person and discuss the issue in a calm manner. Ask why they did what they did and be prepared to actually listen to what they say. Then explain your side and tell why you feel the way you do. Don’t accuse, don’t belittle and don’t be purposefully hurtful.
When we demand perfection of others, we are reinforcing to them that they are expected to be perfect. That is wrong thinking. God doesn’t expect perfection and neither should we – not from ourselves and not from others.

Marriage reflects God’s love for the church

Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” With this verse God instituted the basis of the marriage relationship.
Marriage is God’s idea and should reflect the way God loves the church. The love of God is unconditional – God loves you no matter what and you should love your spouse in the same way.
The covenant made between husband and wife when they get married will hold them together through the highs and lows of marriage and any trials they may face.
One of the happiest days of my life was the day I married my husband. It was after we both turned our lives back over to the Lord and committed ourselves to living by His word that we knew we were meant to be husband and wife.
By continuing to follow Him and turn to Him with life’s decisions our marriage will continue to be a blessed one. Of course there are hurdles we face and we will continue to face, but when we pray about them, both separately and together, and continue to support one another, the Lord will carry us over them to continue on the path He has planned for us.
I have learned one thing we need to banish from our marriage and our minds are negative thoughts. Negative thoughts cause worry, stress and bad feelings where they don’t need to be. God doesn’t want us to worry. He will take care of all of our needs.
If you think negatively, then negative things will happen. If you claim victory over those parts of your life, then you will overcome.
Rich has told me not to think or speak negatively or even talk to other people with negative thoughts on a situation – to just pray about and claim that victory that is our gift from God. (Are you starting to see why I am so blessed to have him as a husband?)
Another thing marriage teaches us is to put other people’s needs before our own. If you have a list of priorities in your life God should be at the top and our spouse should be second.
One of the things that brings me the most joy in my marriage is to do things for Rich to make his life easier and make him happy. He does just as much for me as I do for him, but it really wouldn’t matter because when we are serving in a Godly manner it doesn’t matter if it isn’t reciprocated – it will still bring us joy.
What matters is thinking of his needs and desires as well as our own. We have to put aside our selfishness. If we are focusing only on our own wants we will have an unbalanced, and probably unhappy, marriage. We have to support one another. We have to realize how valuable our spouse is in both our view and in God’s view.
I look at my husband as a gift from God, to be the one beside me during my lifetime to share the trials and triumphs, to be a companion, a helper and a spiritual leader for our family. I thank God each and every day for bringing him into my life.
Matthew 19:5-6 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The light in the midst of shadows

   We all go through trials in our lives – some big and some small. They aren't fun and they aren't easy but if we learn to turn to the Lord as we go through them they help us grow stronger in our faith and work on other areas of our lives that may need some serious work or just some fine tuning.
   There are times when it seems like everywhere we turn there is something else coming at us. It has not been an easy couple of months and there is still more to come. It is still July but already I am looking forward to the end of August. I told Rich Sunday that I know we all have trials to go through but I didn't think we were supposed to go through 20 at the same time (ok, so maybe it is really 5 or 6 not 20 but I am prone to exaggeration at times).
   Finally I got to a point where I just closed off everything around me and concentrated on being alone with the Lord. I saw a vision of me standing in a circle with bright light shining down from above on me and a few feet around me and shadowy figures in the darkness around me. The shadowy figures were the things Satan has been trying to use against me. God was saying to me through the vision, "As long as you look to me you will be in the light. Everything that tries to come against you will just be an insignificant shadow. I will keep you safe."
   The trials are still there but with the Lord's help I will get through them. We will finish moving and get the house in order, the kids will get registered in and be fine with starting a new school, the grown boys have to make their own decisions and my only job is to pray for them and be there to support them whether I agree with the decisions or not, finances will improve, the job situation will be worked out and the medical tests will come back with a clean bill of health. I am believing for all of these things and know that the Lord will come through and work miracles where needed. He always does.
 

Friends are uplifiting

   Yesterday was my birthday. I was a bit down about it actually. First because I turned 42 - I have not liked thinking about my age since it passed 39. Also because we have spent the last week moving and are all just worn out and it has been much more expensive then we expected.
   But I woke up to about a dozen birthday wishes on my Facebook page by 7 a.m. and they just kept coming throughout the day. To know that you are thought of and cared about by so many people is so uplifting. It reminds you that those times when you feel alone, you really aren't. There are plenty of people who care about you. And even when they aren't around, God is always there. He is the one who gives us those friends and family that are here for us.
   The rest of the day went pretty well. My nephew is spending a couple of weeks with us and I took him and my youngest, Zach, to see Transformers 3D. It was fun to spend time with them. We have been so busy with the move and work that I haven't really had much time to spend with them since they got here Friday. Then we went home and I cooked supper. (Usually my southeast Texas self would say dinner but my husband has informed that an informal evening meal is supper and dinner is a formal evening meal so I am trying to do better!) Rich brought me home a beautiful card then we ended the day at church. A time of praise and worship allowed me to put aside all of the petty things that we sometimes allow to build up in our minds and realize just how much the Lord has blessed me. He has given and continues to give me all I need. It turned out to be a pretty good day after all.

Moving can be a test of faith and patience

Have you ever heard people say that if a couple can make it through a move they can make it through anything? I always wondered about that. I mean after all isn’t a move usually a happy time? You are moving into a new home and a new beginning to another chapter of your life.
Well, after spending the last few days trying to get moved, I now understand the sentiment. It has taken a lot of patience, effort, strength and, most of all, prayer. We have gone through quite a few trials in a short period of time that have shown me some of the areas in my life that I need to work on such as patience, faith, trust and forgiveness.
Making the decision to move was not an easy one. We didn’t move far, in fact we are closer to both of our jobs, but it does require several changes in our lives and our boys’ lives. It is not a decision we reached lightly. We spent quite a bit of time in prayer over it and put our trust in God to lead us in the right direction. So even though it has been difficult, I know it is the place the Lord wants us to be right now.
The difficulties started with trying to get the electricity turned on at the new house. When it wasn’t turned on the day it was supposed to be we called the electric company to find out why. It turns out the electric box had been tampered with and there was a lock put on the electrical service at that address. After several phone calls and some paperwork we were finally able to get the electricity on a week later than expected. That one tested both patience and forgiveness. It took patience to deal with the process and have to delay our move.
I had to work hard at finding forgiveness for the people who tampered with the electric box in the first place. They were less than honest and we dealt with the repercussions of their decision. Saying you forgive someone and actually forgiving them are two different things. Sometimes you may even think you have forgiven someone but if you still have lingering anger and hard feeling, you haven’t truly forgiven them. That is a lesson I have been working on for a while – learning to truly forgive as we have been forgiven.
Colossians 3:13 says, “Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.”
Finally we got moved in over the weekend. We have since found a few electrical outlets that aren’t working, I had water spray out from under the kitchen sink when I was washing dishes and washing a load of clothes almost flooded the house. My husband and two of my sons spent hours working on the plumbing issue. At one point I was helping my husband and finally said I thought maybe the pipes just needed some prayer and that I was claiming victory over the plumbing. Well, there are still a few issues but I can now wash dishes and wash laundry. Put your faith in God and he can do anything – even fix your plumbing!
What I have learned is that yes, moving is hard and stressful. By the end you are tired, sore and have been tested. But if you put your faith in the Lord, if you trust Him to lead you and help you through all of the trials you face, if you spend time together in prayer, you will survive the move with your marriage not only intact, but even stronger.
1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.“

Cool news

I had one of my columns published on a Christian writers website yesterday with an offer to publish my weekly columns. I'm pretty excited about that. I have been working for the newspaper for almost eight years and have had plenty of articles and photos published, including my columns for the past few months but to be published as a Christian writer is new for me. It is the direction my life is moving in and I am happy about it. If anyone wants to check it out you can go to worthfinding.com and look for my profile.

Attitude of happiness is a choice; joy is a gift

At home with my family on July 4 I was filled with an abundance of peace and happiness. We were getting ready to leave on a vacation with two of our boys to San Antonio. A whole week off of work and the first real vacation we have taken in a long time made me a happy person.
Even though I felt at peace the day was not been perfect. It started with the dogs demanding a walk as soon as I got up in the morning during which time I discovered one of the young turkeys that have been moved into temporary housing outside had escaped.
Walking dogs and chasing turkeys, at least I got a nice workout this morning.
My oldest was obsessing over his lack of employment, we have a visitor who is not one of my favorite people and Rich had a migraine.
I could have taken all of these things and consider the day a wash out. But I chose not to let these things get me down.
I believe attitude is a choice. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to let circumstances get the best of you. We all have things happen in our lives that can cause us to be unhappy, but through Christ we have the power to choose happiness.    
Psalm 144:15 says, “Happy are the people who are in such a state; Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!”
Believing and having faith in the Lord will give you a spiritual contentment that helps you through the hard times in life. Commitment to the Lord fosters a Christ-like response to the events of life.
You have to learn to find happiness in everything you have been given instead of focusing on what has been taken away or is not given. You must believe that God will always work for your good. He is perfect. If you follow where He leads and are in His will, you will find true happiness.
    Romans 8:28 says, “ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
    What we have to remember is that the Lord gives us peace and joy as free gifts. We just have to accept them. If someone offered you a $100 bill, free and clear, would you tell them “nah, I don’t want that.” Probably not.
Well the Lord is offering you happiness. I know I am taking it. I’m sure not going to tell Him that I don’t want it, that I don’t want to be happy.
But when you walk around with negative attitude and an unhappy demeanor, that is exactly what you are doing – telling God you don’t want the gift of happiness.
When you are filled with God’s love and accept His gifts it shows through to where everyone around you can see it. It is obvious through your actions, words and attitude. It makes other people around you want some of what you have. They want to be filled with the Spirit just like you.
If you aren’t filled with the love of the Lord, well that shows too.
Is that the impression you want to leave? Do you want to be known as the person everyone avoids because of a negative, poor me attitude? Or do you want to be the person everyone wants to be around because your love for the Lord and his love for you shows through everything you do?
It’s your choice. Choose your will or choose God’s will.

Vacation

   I started this blog with the intention of posting something daily but I haven't done very well with that. Last week I was on vacation with the family and not able to post because either I had poor internet connection or, and I will admit this, I just forgot. 
   I wrote a column last week but since I wan't in the office I emailed it in and it just so happened that email was down at the office and so the column did not make it in time for Wednesday's paper. I don't post the columns here until they are published. I'm back at work now though so everything will get back on track. 
   You know the email thing was just the first of several trials I went through last week. Vacations are supposed to be a time of refreshing but I think this one ended up being more a time to see what areas in my life I need to work on. Patience, faith, trust and forgiveness were four things worked on with me.
   I was frustrated over the column not getting here since I had taken time on Monday, the first day of my vacation and a holiday, to write it and make sure it was sent. Tuesday afternoon I am out of town with my family and getting terse emails asking if I was going to have a column. As far as I knew it was already received. It was over four hours after the email was sent asking me about it before I received it and by then too late to get it in, even though I did resend it. That started my work on patience. I tend toward perfectionism. If something is supposed to be done, I do it, and when I am accused of not doing it, well, that is where my patience was really tested.
   We are also in the process of moving. Moving is expensive and vacations are expensive. That is where trust was put into play. Trusting that the Lord would provide all we need for everything we need to do. It's been a bit tight, but we were able to take the boys on vacation, are still moving and are still be able to provide for our family. God is pretty amazing like that.
   A situation that has tested patience, faith and forgiveness came up Friday. We had arranged for the electricity to be turned on in the house we are moving in to on Friday. By Friday evening it still wasn't on. When we finally get through after about 45 minutes on hold, patience test number 1, we find out the renters who had been living there tampered with the electrical box - twice - and there was a lock put on the electrical service at that address. The first woman with the electrical provider was extremely rude and appeared to be blaming us, patience test number 2, so we asked to speak to a supervisor. Turns out there is now a process we have to go through proving we weren't the ones living there when the box was tampered with in order to have our electricity turned on. That one takes patience - we are still waiting for the forms and have no idea how long this will take, forgiveness for the people who lived there before and were less than honest since we are now dealing with the repercussions of their actions, and faith that it will all work out.
   I'm not sure how refreshed I am after that vacation, but I have definitely been working on some areas that needed strengthening.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - "God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it"

It's not God's fault

   Nothing is God's "fault." He does not "trick" you. He does not "have it in" for you. He is perfect. He cannot lie. He cannot sin. He will never fail you.
   These are all things Rich and I have said over and over the last few days to my oldest son. He is getting frustrated in the hunt for a job after graduating from college and instead of turning toward God he is taking a turn away from him. He seems to think that just because he has a college degree now he should just be able to walk into the perfect job. Wow, don't we all wish it was that way. But in today's economy - and he was a economics major so he should know - that isn't how it works. Things are tough.
   The only way to get through life's trials is through faith in God. I went through a time in my life where I didn't think I would ever be happy again. Guess what? God put me in a better place than I could ever imagine. Is my life perfect? Nope. Far from it. But I have learned there is nothing in my life God won't get me through. He is always there. All I have to do is turn to him and ask. I have more peace and joy in my life now, then I have ever known. Things that would have once seemed like mountains to climb are now just hills to walk over. Peace and joy are gifts offered to us by God. All we have to do is reach out and take them and they are ours.
   It hurts to see my son going through a time of such turmoil but I am trusting in God to pull him through. He has to know that him not finding a job yet isn't God's fault, maybe he just isn't following the direction the Lord is leading him or listening to what the Lord is telling him. Rich and I are here to support him and pray for him, and pray with him if he wants, but it is up to him to trust the Lord to get him through this.
  

Leading by example is a key role in parenting

My youngest son went to youth camp with the church last weekend. The camp ended with a special service for the youth and their families at the church.
Through skits, music and dance the youth showed some of what they had learned. But the service turned out to be a time of learning for the parents as well.
One of the camp leaders said there was a “spiritual drought” in today’s world. I never thought of it quite that way but it is true.
Young people today are brought up in a world where violence, promiscuity and a wide range of vices are as close as a button on the television remote. Sin and wrong choices are so much a part of their lives that, unless they are taught otherwise, they accept that behavior as a normal, acceptable lifestyle.
It is up to parents to raise their children in a Christian atmosphere that will help them as they grow and make choices on their own. Parents, older relatives and church leaders must take an active role in leading today’s children and youth.
The way we do that is not by preaching at them or using the phrase so often used by parents – “because I said so!” In my experience, that is only more likely to lead them straight into the behavior you are trying to prevent or to cause anger and rebellion.
Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
While there are definitely times we must say “no” and we need to guide them in the right direction, the best way to teach our children is through example.
When our children see us going to church and praising the Lord, when they see us acting in a Christian manner, they are more likely to follow or example.
Titus 2:7 says, “And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.”
The thing is, it can’t just be an act. Children are smart – they know when you aren’t being honest. Our children live in our homes and know us better than anyone else except our spouses and our Lord. If they see us acting one way in the home and another in public they know we aren’t living an honest life.
Our children know how we act in stressful and hard times. It is easy to set a Christian example when everything is going well, but sometimes not so easy when things become hard.
We have to truly let our lives be led by the Holy Spirit. Every decision we make, every word we speak, our every action must reflect our love for the Lord and His for us at all times.
We must turn to Him to lead us in parenting our children. We also must let our children see that we turn to God for everything, so they will know that it is through Him we are made strong and that He deserves all the glory.
Parenting isn’t easy, it is the hardest job I have ever had. There have been many times when I have just said “Ok, God. I give up – I don’t know what else to do. I’m giving this child to you.”
You know, I think that is exactly what we are supposed to do. We raise our children in a Christian home, guide them through example and love, and trust God for the rest.

Turkeys, blue hair and camp

   I think sometimes God puts humor into our lives to make sure we can laugh when we would otherwise be stressed. The week started with two of the boys showing up in my office wanting to show me their new "purchase". It turned out to be two young turkeys. I work in an office with mostly women, all of whom wanted a look at the turkeys, and all of whom would scream when one tried to get out of the box - myself included. The turkey are now in temporary residence in a rabbit hutch in one of the boys rooms. They have adopted the boys as their moms and will chirp until one of them returns to the room and lets them out of the hutch so they can settle on the boy's lap, or arm, or wherever. They have provided quite a bit of entertainment over the past week.
   I think they are missing Zach while he is away at church camp this weekend. I hope he is having fun, making new friends and absorbing Jesus' love while he is there.
   Then of course there is the son who decided he wanted blue hair. He talked his friend's mom into highlighting and coloring it. He hasn't come back home so I can see how it turned out yet but he says it didn't "all come out blue." I can't even imagine what the boy is going to come home looking like but I am sure it should be interesting.
   We are going through a time where God is leading us to make some changes in our lives, some exciting some a little frightening. But the fun times that come through having our family sure help with anything we go through. I think it is one way of the Lord saying, "Don't worry. I know what I am doing, Just follow through, everything is going to be just fine. Follow where I lead and enjoy." I am going to trust him and do just that.
  
  

Earning the title of father

My father is one of the most caring, loving men I know. He is and always has been a great father. 

Even though I am grown and have a family of my own, I know I can always count on him to be there for me — whether to give advice, lend moral support or help out with needed home repairs, he is there. 

He is the dad the Lord chose for me and blessed me with at birth.

With a high divorce rate over the last couple of decades, there are many men who are now taking on the role of stepfather as well as raising their biological children.  

My husband is one of those men. He already had three sons and when we got married that number doubled to six. 

Becoming a stepfather has many challenges that aren’t there with biological children. The automatic relationship that is there when children are born has to be grown and developed over time in a step family situation.

Sometimes the situation may seem impossible but it can be done. A stepfather that offers love, guidance and encouragement can become a vital part of the family. That is especially important when the biological father is absent from the children’s lives for whatever reason.

Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ biological father but he loved him and raised him as if he was. No one ever knew the difference because he treated him as his own son.

Fatherhood is more than just being responsible for conception. It is taking on a leadership role in raising children to know and love God, to have Christian morals and convictions and to make those children feel wanted and cherished.

My sons have been fortunate to have a stepfather who has taken on that role in their lives. When we got married he also willingly took on all of the baggage, pain, rejection, fear and challenges that came along with marrying a woman with children.

He didn’t have to do that. He could have just had the mind frame that they are my children, my problem. But he didn’t. Instead he embraced them. If they need guidance, he gives it; if they need support, he is there; if there is something they need or even just want, he does his best to make sure they have it.

Billy Graham once said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”

The same can be said, and even more so I think, for stepfathers. 

Malachi 4:6 says, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.”

He doesn’t differentiate between father and stepfather. I don’t think it matters how you “become” the father of a child, it matters how you “are” the father of that child. If you accept that child as a heritage and reward from the Lord as it says in Psalm 127:3 and treat that child as such, then you are a father.

Fathers are defined by how they love and how they treat the gifts given to them by God.

It is my husband that my sons honored on Father’s Day — an honor that he has more than earned.

When the Lord brought my husband into my life, my children and I were all blessed with a wonderful gift — the best husband I could ever hope for and a man that has taken on the role of father to my children. The Lord gives us more than we could ever dream possible, and I thank him each and every day.

Proverbs - Chapter 6:20-23 — “My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's teaching. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you. For these commands and this teaching are a lamp to light the way ahead of you. The correction of discipline is the way of life.”

Reaching out

   Sometimes there are things we are going through that people around us aren't even aware are going on. It may be something we just don't want other people to know about or are embarrassed to talk about. But if we keep it all inside, we are closing ourselves off to the help others can give us. How are those closest to us going to know we need their prayers if we don't tell them? We can pray ourselves but sometimes we need the support of others to give us a fresh perspective and help us know exactly what it is we need to pray about.
   We don't need to tell our business to everyone but we should have at least one or two people we can  talk things through with and have pray with us. Closing ourselves off lets the enemy attack us from within. Sometimes God speaks to us through the words of others. We need to give Him that chance.

Importance of fellowship

   Today was a good day even if I did have to work 11 hours, which is about normal for a Friday. Ok, it would be 13 but I am taking a couple hours worth home with me to do tonight. I've been getting a little worn down with my job lately but came in this morning with a fresh energy and drive and even managed a minor redesign that I have been wanting done for a while now.
   I'm pretty sure a night of fellowship with the ladies from church last night after a great ministry class on the Holy Spirit Wednesday night had a lot to do with it. There was a time period of over a year when I stopped going to church. It wasn't that I lost my path with the Lord, it was that I needed to find a place where I could grow spiritually and that my husband and I could share our love for the Lord. Within a few weeks I was feeling lost and went through some pretty trying times during that year.
   We don't realize until we have been away from it how important fellowship with other Christians is in our lives. We need the support of one another and the shared testimonies to stay on the right path. It keeps us uplifted and strengthens us when we are weak.

Hebrews 10:23-25 - Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Thankful

There are some days we wake up with a smile on our face and realize how much the Lord God has blessed us with and how much we have to be thankful for in our lives. Today was one of those days. No particular reason, even. Just have a heart full of love for my Lord, my husband, my children, my family, my church and all that He has made us.

Filling up with the Word replaces desire for food

Health is a big issue in our home right now, as it is in many homes across the country.
    My family and I have been on a diet rollercoaster for almost a year now, trying one thing after another to lose a few pounds and improve our health. Some diets worked and some didn’t and we are down quite a few pounds from where we were this time last year.

    The one thing I have learned is what many professionals have said all along — diets don’t work, lifestyle changes do. You have to adopt a whole new way of not only eating, but also thinking and feeling.
    A book I read recently  — and need to keep rereading parts of — called “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst has really helped me.
    The book teaches you to fill your desires with God, not with food. It is full of spiritual motivation that helps keep you on the road to fitness and health.
    The book showed me that the way to get healthier and stay that way has more to do with what is inside us then what we put in our mouths.
    If we fill ourselves with what is good for our mind and spiritual lives, we will slowly begin to fill our body with what is good for it also.
    God has instructed us to take care of our bodies and his Word is full of ways we should do that if we take the time to look.
    1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
    When I read that verse I have to stop and think. If I borrow something from a friend, I am going to take care of it. I will make sure it is returned in the shape it was when I borrowed it.
    When my husband gives me a gift, I cherish it and make sure it is taken care of and kept in good condition.
    My body belongs to God, not to me. When I fill it full of junk and don’t exercise, I am not taking care of it. I am not glorifying God.
    Now knowing all of that, I still have plenty of days when I don’t want what is healthy. I want something gooey and chocolaty and sweet or a big, greasy cheeseburger. Then I think, “other people are eating that, why can’t I?”
    Well, I can, but do I really want to? Would it really be beneficial to me and how long would the pleasure of eating it last? The answer is, only until after the last bite.
    I found one verse that I keep repeating to myself when those cravings strike. It is 1 Corinthians 6:12, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
    I still have a long way to go and I still eat some things I shouldn’t and I still don’t exercise everyday like I need to, but I am taking steps toward getting there. And with the Lord’s help, I will.

Enjoying family

   Rich and two of the boys spent the weekend at the deer lease, fixing stands and feeders. They left early Friday morning so I stayed home with the other two boys we have home right now.  
   My sister was in town with her kids so the boys and I visited with her, her kids, my mom and brother on Saturday. We were a pretty close family when we were young but we grew up, had families of our own and my sisters moved a few hours away so we don't see each other often anymore. It is a nice, refreshing break when we can actually get together. We didn't have long, just a few hours but it made my weekend a lot brighter.
   Though I enjoyed the quiet couple days with fewer people in the house and the time to spend with my family, I was even happier when Rich and the boys came home. The time with my family reminded me that one day all I'll have with my kids are visits instead of the joy of spending every day with them. I want to enjoy all the time I have with the boys close before they also start to drift away as their lives expand and they have families of their own. I intend to take full pleasure in the gift of children the Lord gave me.

Psalm 127: 3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

One small message can save the day

   Yesterday was a long day. I had absolutely no energy or desire to work and a lot that needed done.
   I have a bible app on my phone that gives me a daily verse plus has a bible reading schedule that gives me verses from different chapters to read right on my phone.
   A little after 9 a.m. I looked at my phone and noticed it had sent me the daily verse. First I thought "I don't have time to read this right now" and set my phone down. But I kept thinking about it and looking at my phone on my desk beside me. Finally I picked it up and read the verse, then I went on to the daily bible reading. After the 15 minutes I turned over to bible reading I had focus and was able to get everything done with very little stress.
   Sometimes we may think we don't have time to spend with the word but we do. In fact carving out the time for the Lord helps us create the time for other things. It's amazing how that works, isn't it? I know I'll make sure the Lord gets as much of my time as he wants each and every day.

Some of life's lessons come from music

Every little thing we do, everything we say matters


I have a new favorite song. I always have my car radio tuned in to my favorite Christian channel but have to admit while I listen to the music and sometimes sing along to my favorite songs  — ok only when I am alone in the car, my husband will be the first to tell you it is better that way — there are other times when it serves more as background noise. I guess I have my mind trained to think the car won’t run without the radio on.
This morning though, a certain song caught my attention. It was “Do Everything” by Steven Curtis Chapman. The lines that hit home were, “do everything you do to the glory of the one who made you…do every little thing you do to bring a smile to His face.”
Those couple of lines put a whole new perspective on my life and day. Are they new concepts or something I didn’t know before? No, they aren’t. But put in such a simple way makes it so clear. Everything, every little thing we do, every word we speak, our every action, our facial expressions, our attitudes, everything should be done to the glory of God. Wow. I don’t think I have ever looked at it quite that way before today.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
I believe that doing things to the glory of God means we should honor him by acting and speaking in a way that pleases Him. Or like the song says “brings a smile to His face.” Think about it. Don’t you want to bring a smile to our Father’s face? I know I do.
Will everything I do be pleasing to God? No. Can I get to the point where most of what I do is pleasing to Him on my own? No again.
1 Peter 4:11 says, “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
It is only through the strength and grace of God that we can reach for the place we need to be. We have to know that everything we are and everything we do in our Christian walk comes through the Father’s love for us. Every choice we make, every desire we have, each word we speak should come from delight in the One who created us.
Before we let circumstances put us in a bad mood where we are snapping at other people around us or frustrated by a long line at the grocery store or grumbling about the driver who cut us off, we need to stop and ask ourselves, “Am I acting in a way that glorifies God?” If the answer is no, maybe we should turn over what is bothering us to the Lord and trust Him to put us in the right frame of mind. After all, when others see us acting in a way that “puts a smile on God’s face” maybe it will inspire them to want to put a smile on His face, too.
Matthew 5:16 says, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Fasting for the first time

   I have decided to try fasting one day a week. Today will be the first day. I chose Tuesday's because I am usually so busy at work during the day on Tuesday's that I don't think much about eating anyway. I have the little fridge in my office stocked with bottles of water and prayed about it this morning. I am sure it will take a lot of praying during the day to get me through. In fact it may take Jesus himself slapping my hand away from the fridge when I get home tonight! Of course that is kind of the point, to learn to lean on Jesus and focus more on Him.
   When I told one of my coworkers yesterday what I had decided to do she asked me if I was gong to have my office door shut. I asked her why. She said because she knows she gets cranky when she doesn't eat and she figured I would be in a bad mood and pretty much the only time I close my office door is when I am in a bad mood. Yikes. Guess I am pretty predictable!
   But I heard a great song this morning by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Do Everything" that says to do everything you do to the glory of God. (That is the basis of tomorrow's column, by the way.) So I am going to trust in Him to not only help me stick to the fast today but to do it with a smile — or at least not a snarl! — on my face. I'll let you know how it goes.

Matthew 6:16-18 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Sometimes we just need a breather

   It's been a crazy few weeks. Between extra projects during an already busy time at work, a college graduation, end of school year activities with the boys and the loss of my grandmother my body and mind were screaming out to take a break. Finally this weekend I did just that.
   I got off work a little early Friday and went straight home. Then I spent all day Saturday at home. The only time I left the house was for about 10 minutes to go pick up one of the boy's friends. Other than that it was a restful day ending with a nice visit with my husband's parents. (And yes, I love his parents like my own, so visits with them are always nice.) Sunday was much the same. Slept in, then went to church and out to lunch and home for the rest of the day.
   Sometimes we need a weekend like that. A time when we can relax and recharge. A time to be quiet and listen for the Lord's voice. It seems like the busier we are the more likely it is that we will miss what He is saying to us.
   Rich and I like to have a date night each week. Time to spend with each other without the kids or household responsibilities where we can just focus on "us." I read somewhere that we should "make a date with Jesus." To carve out a quiet time each day to spend in prayer and focus on Him.  Sounds like a great idea to me.

Mark 1:35 - Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Pushing through

    Yesterday started out well. I knew I was going to be busy, trying to get the paper sent to print a little early so some of the staff could attend the high school graduation that evening.
    I got up, spent some time in prayer then made it to work by 6:30 a.m. Things went well until after noon then the stressors started hitting one after another...bam, bam, bam!
   Things with the paper, personal issues, a little of everything at once. By mid afternoon I was experiencing a full blown anxiety attack. My chest was hurting, I was dizzy, I was having trouble breathing. I began to wonder if I was going to have to get someone to take me to the hospital.
   At that point I called a time out. A little something I call a time out for prayer. I walked out of my office, went outside to a quiet place, took a minute to take in the beautiful sunny day, and turned it all over to the Lord. I asked him to help me through, give me the strength to do all that needed done and to still my heart and give me peace.
   Was everything perfect after that?  No. In fact a couple more issues popped up. But I was able to deal with them and even laughed by the time the last editorial problem surfaced. And I still managed to get the staff out of the office just a little after 5 p.m.
   Then I came home to a husband finishing up dinner, some relaxing time outside, then going out to get ice cream with my husband and the son who usually thinks he's too cool to go anywhere with me these days. And my adorable little niece made it through her surgery to have tubes in her ears and her adenoid removed with no issues and was excited to hear from me when I called to check on her.
   What could have been a horrible day ended up pretty great. Maybe the Lord didn't make all the issues just stop when I turned to him but he did give me what I needed to push through and come out stronger for it. He does that with big issues too. Sometimes there are long periods of darkness we have to work through in our lives. Things we can't see an end to anywhere in the future. But if we have faith and trust in the Lord, we will make it through and find the light. He's pretty great like that.

The end of another school year

Yesterday was the last day of the school year for my boys. The youngest had an eighth grade promotion ceremony and took home several awards. That boy has always done really well in school just like his oldest brother who graduated from college with a bachelors degree in economics a few weeks ago.
   The middle child has a bit more trouble, especially with math. He has never done well in math or on tests which is why when I got the call from his math teacher over the weekend telling me Nick had to pass the semester exam to pass the class for the year, my heart fell. I didn't see how he was possibly going to manage that. So I put his oldest brother to work helping him study and even sent him to his teacher's house, who also happens to be the mother of one of his best friends, for some extra tutoring.
   Then I prayed - a lot! I asked God to help him do well enough to pass that test. No, it isn't a big life altering event that was at stake, but I have learned that God listens to all of our needs, even the smallest.
   The test was Wednesday morning. I prayed again that morning, "Lord please help him know the answers and do well." Not only did he do well, he made a 100 on that test! Thank you Jesus! I am pretty sure he has never made a 100 on a math test. Not only did the Lord make sure he passed the test but he blew it away! Now, if only I had thought to pray about his Biology exam!

"And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." Matthew 21:22

This was written after hearing hurtful gossip

Words have the power to break down or lift up
(Published in The Bay City Tribune June 1, 2011)

We have all been on the receiving end of hurtful comments and, whether intentional or not, we have all been the one to make a hurtful comment at some point.
The child’s saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” may be a good ideal to strive for, but in reality words can hurt much worse than a bump or bruise.
While signs of physical injuries will fade and be forgotten, hurtful words can leave wounds that are never completely healed.
By the same token, the words we can use can heal and comfort, lift up and encourage.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
When we think of the power of words we realize how important it is to ”think before we speak.”
Before we allow the words to come out of our mouths we should first ask ourselves if what we are going to say is going to be hurtful or helpful, if it is necessary, if it can be hurtful to someone else and how the words will be perceived by the person.
If we are unsure if something should be said we can put it to the test. Ask yourself, “If this was Jesus standing here before me, would I say this to Him?” If the answer is no, you probably should keep quiet.
Maybe we think as long as we aren’t saying hurtful words directly to a person or in their presence it is ok. Not true.
Think of how many people you have known who have had their reputations hurt by gossip, how many relationships have been damaged and friendships lost to gossip. Think of how many people have had their feelings hurt.
Proverbs 11:9,13 says, “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape... A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”
But what if we don’t actually say the words? What if we just think the words?
I have learned that when something is on my mind, it is usually going to get said at some time or another. The more negative thoughts you have, the more negative attitude you will have. A negative attitude leads to negative actions.
We must start from the inside, seeing the good in others and letting that view be the one we focus on and share. We must look inside ourselves and see what is missing and what needs to be strengthened, not judge others with our own inadequacies.
Then we can make sure we are using the right words when we speak, the words that build up and strengthen, the words that show love and kindness. This is one way we can show the love of and for God through our words and actions.
Proverbs 23:15-16 says, “My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.”

Written three days after the death of my grandmother

The Lord's comfort overflows onto others

(Published in The Bay City Tribune May 25)




The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through in our lifetimes.

My first experiences with loss came during my teenage years when I lost both of my grandfathers. Many years later my Aunt Helen, a wonderful woman who was no blood relation but happily took on the role of grandmother to my siblings and me, passed on. Over the summer my brother-in-law’s father left this world after a battle with cancer. We spent many family functions together over the years and I never saw him without a smile on his face.

On Saturday, the Lord called my grandmother home. She was one of the strongest, most loving women I have ever known. She was beautiful on the inside and out. She was the “Queen” of our family, the one who held us all together. She will be greatly missed.

I know that she is now in a better place. I know that she now has a new, strong, healthy body and is rejoicing in the presence of the Lord. I know that there will come a day when I will see her again in Heaven. But still there is that place in my heart that is empty, that feels deeply the loss of her presence here on earth.

I was told by a wonderful woman at church Sunday that it is ok to grieve and miss those that have went on to be with the Lord, that is part of the process. The Lord will bring us through this trial as he does with any other. We don’t have to be strong on our own, we are made strong through Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We are to take the strength and comfort given to us by God and use it to help others. We may wonder how, when we are seeking comfort ourselves, we will be able to comfort family members and loved ones who are going through the same grieving process. But we can. We take what we have been given and we let it overflow onto those around us.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

So, yes, I miss my grandmother very much and circumstances have changed the family I used to know. But I know where my grandmother is, I know that she is happy and healthy and just waiting for us to come join her. I know she is looking at her family and saying, “ Stop the foolishness, straighten up, comfort each other, look to the Father and be the family I raised you to be.” Pretty much the same thing the Father is probably saying to today’s world.

John 14:1-4 — “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

A thought for difficult days

Turn one of ‘those’ days into one of God’s days
(Published in The Bay City Tribune May 18, 2011)


I have often found myself uttering the phrase, “It’s just one of those days.” Thinking about that phrase makes me wonder just what “one of those days” is and how I can turn it into, “It’s a great and blessed day” instead.
I’m sure “one of those days” means different things to all of us.  It also can mean something different to each of us at different points in our lives.
It can be one of those days when all of the little things add up, starting with the alarm not going off and the kids suddenly remembering they need to bring cookies to a class party 20 minutes before school starts and ending with burning dinner after an extra long day at work.
It also can be one of those days when it seems like every direction you turn there is crisis all around you.
You have a loved one seriously ill, one going through a personal crisis, one making choices that negatively affect their life, conflict that divides a family, turmoil every where you look.
In the first case, you know you will wake up the next day with a whole new set of circumstances and a better day.
In the second case, you wonder how you will ever get through everything around you. You look for a break somewhere in the midst of the raging storm where you can break free. The problem is, if you just look in front of you or behind you or to the side, all you see is trouble. The only way out is to look up.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1
No matter how much we want to “fix” everything around us, for ourselves and our loved ones, we can’t. Not on our own. I have spent so much of my life trying to fix every problem that comes along, both large and small, even to the point of making myself physically ill. I am a Type A personality. I want everything to go in an orderly and timely manner, for everything to be perfect. When I feel things slipping out of my control I can feel my blood pressure rising and my heart beginning to beat more rapidly.
Well, guess what I learned? When I stop trying to fix everything and turn it over to God, my blood pressure goes down, my heart rate returns to normal and things turn out so much better than they ever would have if I had tried to retain control.
God’s way is so far beyond us that we can’t even imagine what he has planned. We just have to put our trust in Him and know that things will turn out according to His plan.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Now I wake up in the morning and say, “This is going to be one of God’s days.”
I know that whatever is happening, whatever is going on around me, I can just take it to God in prayer and give it to Him. I still find myself wanting to rush in and “save the world” sometimes or asking God, “are you sure about this?”
But, I know that yes, He is sure, only He knows what is best and if I just sit back and listen to what he says I will find a path out of those stormy seas and onto smooth water.
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.” - 2 Thessalonians 3:16